The ease of living in San Juan

These past 3 months have been a crazy mix of culture shock and release. I am slowly shedding the skin that always kept me wrapped up in “what could have been.” I love not being surrounded by things that trigger my adoptee pain. In Hilo, I was trying to live my life over again and kept being reminded that it was not possible.  

Now, surrounded by a new culture, language, climate, land, and ocean, I do feel like I am starting over. I have no expectations or preconceived notions about anything Puerto Rican. It is my first time purposefully branching out into a culture that I don’t have any ties to at all. Part of me wondered if I was being culturally appropriative by moving to Puerto Rico and learning Spanish. Another part of me understood that exploring other cultures creates internal growth, and empathy for others, and strengthens bonds between people, including our ancestors.  

My ancestors told me that I am the first one in our line to ever live in the Caribbean. They are all so excited to be here and experience this with me. I think I can feel them closer here too, because my ability to ground here is so easy. In Seattle, it was an effort to ground into a land that I didn’t think I was supposed to live on. I always reached for my ancestors as if I had nothing else that could help me. In Hilo, it was both lovely and heartbreaking to ground into land that I felt I never should have left. My broken heart called to my ancestors, as replacements to my biological family. In San Juan, I simply ground. I call on my ancestors to experience these new experiences with me.  

My relationship with myself is changing, as I find other interests take over my adoptee identity and need for healing. I’m learning how to eat to manage my familial hypertriglyceridemia, studying Spanish, and immersing myself in my new community. My relationship with my ancestors feels more like a partnership, instead of a child desperate for her missing family. I am so excited to see the other ways I will grow now that I am here.  

Thank you for being on my journey with me. I hope this growth makes me a better human, energy worker, Ancestral Healer, and contributor to this incredible world. My schedule is up-to-date, and I would love to help you navigate the changes in your lives too.